Well, HER Story…with HIS Approval… 🙂

HOW IT ALL BEGAN…

I transferred to Southampton High School in 1993 after attending middle school & my freshman year of high school in a neighboring city. I had spent the last two years taking additional classes & attending summer school which allowed me to skip the 11th grade. I was finally back in Southampton County Public Schools & I was thrilled and more than ready to enjoy my hard-earned senior year at my new high school!

I was super nervous that first day as I walked into my first period class–which happened to be Mrs. Gyoker’s Chemistry class of seniors. The only familiar face in the room, I walked straight towards Jason (a childhood friend whose Mom used to babysit me while my parents worked.) I said Hi to Jason and sat in the nearest empty desk in the row next to him.

I can’t recall if it was the second, third or fourth day of school, but Jason told me that his friend Bernard wanted my phone number. Bernard actually sat directly behind me in Chemistry class, but I hadn’t given him or anyone else much attention that first week. I eventually told Jason it was okay to give Bernard my number. Bernard soon called one evening, and we continued to talk on the phone when our schedules & extracurricular activities allowed.

Bernard made it clear right away that he liked me; however, I was enjoying my newfound popularity and wasn’t interested in being anything other than friends. Despite our friend status, Bernard continued to surprise me with cards, notes, poems, gifts, flowers and my favorite dessert from the Food Lion grocery store that he worked at. EVERYONE was quite aware of “our situationship.” Despite us not dating, our friends and classmates would say things like: “Bernard’s crazy about you!” or “Bernard’s in love with you, girl!”, “You guys are going to get married one day!” and “Why don’t you just give him a chance?”

Still we remained JUST friends…

Bernard and I also had senior English class together. This time, he sat two desks behind me. We soon found ourselves in a grades competition in Mrs. Wyatt’s class also. My good friend Stacey would sneakily let me see Bernard’s grades as she passed out our graded papers. Eventually, Bernard caught on and tried to intercept Stacey’s attempts to show me his test & quiz grades, lol! We would go back and forth saying, “What did you get? You tell me first. No. You tell me first!”

There’s much more I could share about our myriad of senior year ups and downs, but let’s just say that it was an interesting, though not always fun journey.

GRADUATION DAY-JUNE 1994

In fact, we were not on speaking terms that day. Bernard sat directly beside me at graduation, as his last name, Artis, came right before mine, Blow, in our line up, but he didn’t say a word to me-not before, not during & not after our graduation ceremony. Even when I tried to talk to him…nil, nothing, nunca…Ouch! Despite our drama, we both had been inducted into the National Honor Society and we graduated with honors. I soon found out Bernard’s GPA and class rank were slightly higher than mine. So in the end, he ultimately won the grades competition!

COLLEGE, THE ARMY & THE LETTER

After high school, there was no communication between Bernard & me. I attended a college in Arlington, VA, and the last I heard was that Bernard planned to attend a college a few hours away.

One day during my freshman year, my mom called me with a message from a cousin who had just married into the family. She was then newly known as Felicia Walker Blow.

WELL, LET’S HOLD THAT THOUGHT FOR JUST A MINUTE…

I didn’t know that Bernard hadn’t gone to college. He actually was home helping care for his mom during her illness, and sadly until her passing in 1995.

Due to various unfortunate life’s circumstances, Bernard had decided to enlist in the Army.

While preparing for his enlistment, Bernard looked up my family members in the local phone book. The well-known Blow’s had many addresses and phone numbers listed, so I guess he just picked one and decided to mail his letter to that address. It ended up at my great Uncle Johnel and Aunt Dorothy’s – who lived next door to my grandparents. Aunt Dorothy gave the envelope to her new daughter-in-law Felicia Walker Blow, thinking that the letter was for her. Felicia said she opened it, read it and quickly realized that there was no way that letter could be for her! Felicia soon called my mom and told her that she had a letter that belonged to me. She eventually took it to my parent’s home, and I got the letter on my next visit home.

In the letter, Bernard shared the challenges he’d faced since we’d last talked during senior year. He said that I was the one person he wanted to say goodbye to before leaving for the military. So one day, I called the number in the letter, planning to say good-bye to my long-lost high school friend. Instead of finalizing our good-byes, we ended up talking for hours.

Over the course of several conversations, significant events had occurred in both of our lives causing us to change our desired plans after high school.

Long story short: Bernard didn’t enlist in the Army & by the end of my first semester of college, I ended up back home due to medical reasons. After recovering from surgery, I enrolled and continued my studies at our local community college.

Despite me dating someone else (actually engaged to someone else), Bernard and I became friends…again.

COMMUNITY COLLEGE, FRIENDSHIP & DATING

I encouraged Bernard to enroll at the community college I was attending while he figured out his life.

After a whirlwind of crazy dating drama on my end, I eventually wised up and called off the engagement. Of course, Bernard became a confidant as I navigated my new single life. We were soon talking every day and every night.

Being the smart guy that he always was and Math never being my favorite subject, I asked Bernard to tutor me in College Algebra and later in Statistics. Thanks to his help, I graduated from community college with almost a 4.0! As did he!

We were seeing each other regularly, but still not “officially” dating.

Dr. Lillie Faison, who was an English instructor at our community college, a minister at Bernard’s church, and also a mother-figure and mentor to Bernard, further encouraged him to pursue his academic goals and work towards a better life for himself. Not only did she tell him these things–she & her husband Mr. Carl helped Bernard in countless tangible ways. We will forever love & be grateful for the Faison family!

A woman of great faith, wisdom and humor, Mrs. Faison also had a thing or two to say about Bernard and me, and our “situationship!” 🙂 While talking to her one day after her Literature class, she made sure to drop one of her many “matter of fact” nuggets of wisdom. Mrs. Faison told me to make sure that I saw Bernard not just for who & where he was at the time, but to also see him for his “potential” & for who he was becoming.

Less than a year later, we made our relationship official over dinner at a Chili’s in Hampton, Virginia—my idea, by the way!

And the rest is history, as they say!

MOVING FORWARD

But not without more of life’s inevitable share of ups and downs–at times, seemingly more downs than ups; but here we are today 30+ years later after meeting at Southampton High School in Mrs. Gyoker’s senior Chemistry class in September 1993!

Graduating high school, losing touch, reconnecting, supporting each other through life’s challenges, dating, graduating from community college, undergrad and eventually graduate school, deciding to marry (way too young), having two kids (beautiful gifts we didn’t know how much we needed to help us heal, grow & mature), moving to Houston, Texas, then Dallas, going through some of the toughest seasons of our lives–personally, financially & relationally, dealing with our own mistakes & baggage, illnesses, surgeries & a life-altering car crash in 2021, along with the grief of losing our fathers & many other loved ones along the way.

BUT GOD…

HE has faithfully kept us and held our family together! He has protected us. He has provided for us. And He has covered us with His grace, goodness and mercy…over and over again.

We are grateful to God for HIS unfailing LOVE and for allowing us countless chances to pursue HIS way. We are also grateful that HE gave us the mind and desire to want to do better & be better–for HIM, for ourselves, our children, our future grandchildren & for everyone HE has assigned to us.

We finally realized that “if nothing changes, nothing changes!”

This life-changing revelation & the REAL beginning of our spiritual walk came in 1998 through the Divine orchestration of our arrival at Calvary Community Church (C3) in Hampton, Virginia under the leadership & mentorship of Bishop L.W. Francisco, III and Dr. Natalie Francisco. Their unconditional love, faith, prayers & spiritual covering; their union & beautiful family; and their excellence, integrity, wisdom & ministry provided the sound Biblical teachings and models that we needed to start learning how to build a spiritual foundation piece by piece for ourselves & our family. Not a day goes by that we don’t reflect, rehearse or recite Bishop’s & Dr. Natalie’s wisdom and teachings on the power of our choices; the renewal of our minds; the pursuit of excellence, integrity & generosity; fulfilling our God-ordained calling, purpose & destiny; and what it means to be a Generational Curse Breaker & a Legacy Maker–for they are now far-ingrained into our spiritual DNA.

We will forever be grateful for our C3 family & our beautiful spiritual mothers and fathers that the good Lord has blessed us with to cover us, pray for us, speak life, wisdom and encouragement to us & to help us on our journey.

We eventually made a choice to become teachable & to start doing the hard work. In fact, we’re still doing the work! And yes, part of that work is and has been THERAPY!!

FAITH, WORK  AND THERAPY!

We haven’t arrived, but we are ever growing, growing up & maturing in God and in His Word. We are in constant pursuit of looking more and more like Christ. We have humbly and willingly availed ourselves for HIM to use our lives (the good, the bad & the ugly) to help, encourage and bless others in any way we can. 
And ultimately to bring Glory & Honor to HIS GREAT NAME!

We THANK YOU, family & friends, for being an integral part of this journey through your love, prayers, wisdom, encouragement & support!

The Lord is and continues to be more than faithful to us. All praises to our MOST HIGH that we are still here today—still standing and still standing together—taking life one day at a time with a fire-tested, agape love for each other and a ‘not my will, but YOUR will be done’ unwavering faith in God. Bernard & I both declare that ONLY by the LORD’s Miraculous Power & HIS Undeserving Amazing Grace, can we honestly say today that: “We Still Do!”

TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY